things i've learned being in this relationship

10 things i've learned in this relationship

1) i've learned i am not the only person
who thinks super nintendo is the best console ever made
2) i've learned how to stare at an itunes visualizer for two hours
3) i've learned how to fold 20 white tees in under 7 minutes
4) i've learned that a freckle under your eye means good luck
5) i've learned the extent of linguistic colonization
6) i've learned how to make adobo
7) i've learned more about kobe bryant than any other baller in the league
8) and like kobe, i've learned how to ask for forgiveness
9) like vanessa, i've learned how to forgive

but i haven't learned how to forget
i haven't forgotten about the gold earring i found under your bed
i haven't forgotten about the insufficient geography of my blood
i haven't forgotten broken ribs
i know broken ribs
i know how to cry silently and without movement
notify the saints
because you've been sleeping next to a weeping statue

i'm only what i think you want me to be
a wireless marionette

my chest cavity is a trojan horse
there is a terracotta army burrowed inside my heart
that awakens every time we make love
so every time we make love
i expect twice as much war

i am used to sleeping too close to the fire
burns are medals of honor
and i am a decorated veteran
subconsciously bent on battle
rubbing wounds with gunpowder and polishing my steel tongue

with us
anywhere is fair game
open fire in your kitchen, my car, in class
weaving invisible nets of dialogue into catch 22's and
releasing land mines tucked under our tongues

no one ever wins
this is the bloodiest stalemate to date

our circulatory systems rewire themselves and
the fiber in our bones realign to adjust to the trauma
our voiceboxes pitch frequencies that shake the overcast blanket
loose of forgotten constellations

cause pointing out falling stars turns our bodies into white flags
and it's only perfect that we still find ways to sacrifice
even when we're fighting

we always ask each other
why we keep trying

10) i've learned how to be a martyr
but not a savior
our time together will be the latest addition to the crusades

they say holiness is not found between lovers
but i discovered prayer in your palm lines
your chest was a seashell
when i held my ear against you
i could hear whispers of scripture flowing through your veins