the mummy

the egyptians did not document the process of mummification
did not tickle sheets of papyrus with inked instructions
or carve the bellies of buildings
maybe they thought it was too holy to ever be inscribed
but after years of whipping tomb doors like anthropological slaves
we've boxed their secrets into a science

first a bath in sodium solution
then an incision directed to the abdomen
third, they removed all organs excluding the heart
dehydrated the cadaver with natron
stuffed dried cavities
and finally wrapped them in linen
six steps would bring you to gates of heaven

i contemplate if the egyptians knew of their fate
treated mummies like their monuments
elaborate and beautiful

while some find this process grotesque
i don't know what could be more romantic
than to see your insides
to treat your physiology like a monument
if only you were not afraid to cut me open
if only you were not afraid of truth
i want truth
i want to disintegrate into a time before christ
inhale the breaths of a priest sweating into the face of anubis
so i can
for once
reach inside a man without killing him

the egyptians did not leave behind documents
only sparks for mass produced translations of hieroglyphics
dressing scripture in multilateral incisions
turning ancient texts into suicidal ransom notes
into personal ads into love poems

i write you love poems and when you ask who they're about
i say, somebody else
nah we could never work out cause i'm a cancer, and you're a virgo
i speak in tides to massage your earthquake insecurities
ocean wave words splash against your beached mindset
just hoping for erosion
while we circle lake washington
periodically blowing amnesia into bloodstreams
interacting like ocean and earth would after the apocalypse
discovering fault lines for the second time
because we left our hearts in tact

and you might have forgotten, but i haven't
we are not in the afterlife
this is limbo
our priests were organ thieves who dumped our bodies into the nile
our exes are defaced gods who left us face down
in the mud and in between bed sheets

no the egyptians never left instructions
but you and i never needed any
we are professional embalmers
now this process has become all too familiar
over and over again we

bathe in ripples of laughter
unfold our vulnerabilities
remove all rationality
fight until we lose all trust
stuff our egos
and dress them in silence
six steps away from the gates of heaven

over and over again
i fall into the eye of your hurricane
even with the storm pressing against my back
still lay down to die
thinking you will take me there
only to awake alone in the coldest silence
with iodine bruises and fresh iron exit wounds
i am a fool to think you could look inside me
when you can't stand the sight of my naked body

you want a mountain range
with ribs like the himalayas
someone magnificent and deadly
something worth fighting for
but my belly is an inverted valley
hosts glowing orchards that do not bloom all year round
the trees do not hide at sunrise
but stretch their backs and purse their nectarine lips
knowing their harvest is just around the corner
i am where seasons exist

i was alone before you
and i can be alone after
liberation is lived through isolation
i am killing this part of myself to breathe again
yes, you were once my priest
but you could never bring me to the afterlife